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What do I do with my preschooler?


What to Do with Your Preschooler

A young mom writes:

I’m new at homeschooling—I have 2-year-old twins. I want to teach them and get them ready for preschool. Please send me info to help me start off on the right foot.

Another mom writes:

I have a 3½-year-old boy, a 2½-year-old girl and a 7-month old baby boy. I’ve read preschool articles on websites, listened to the sessions on beginning homeschooling from the state convention, read a few books and magazines, talked to homeschooling moms…but now that I’m really looking at schooling my children, I just get overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. I can see the goal or vision…that my children will love to learn…to learn about God, to learn reading, math, problem solving history, art, music, and everything in between…but how do you start? They don’t seem to even want to sit still and read a book…they just want to play with toys and pretend.

Vicki answers:

They are little; let them play with toys and pretend!

But you pick the toys, so you shape the play. Their play is their work—it may look easy to you, but it’s not all easy to them, and it is developing their thinking and providing life experiences—sort of like hooks on which they can hang their future learning.

Provide them with stimulating, age-appropriate, developmental toys. You might want to peek through online catalogs such as Timberdoodle or Discovery Toys for a few ideas. Consider Legos or building blocks, thinking skills puzzles, art supplies, life-skills imaginary play (role playing or dress-ups or tools/homemaking items), musical instruments, etc. The tapes or CDs you play can be educational and inspirational. Your everyday activities can be helpful for their brain and skills development.

For example, working puzzles is a pre-reading skill, while helping Mom set the table is a math skill (one-to-one correspondence). Having them help put away their things in an orderly fashion (which they won’t be able to do yet, but can watch you joyfully walk through it with them) is classification and organization—science, math, and English skills.

Ruth Beechick has a helpful book called The Three R’s of Learning. Valerie Bendt’s book, Making the Most of the Preschool Years, has lots of preschool ideas. You might also peek at Jane Lambert’s Before Five in a Row guide for some fun and educational activities based on classic kids’ books from the library. Pick a holiday or two to celebrate each month as a special treat and as a springboard for family learning.

It is not uncommon for little children to seem uninterested in a read-aloud session, but don’t let that stop you from reading to them! If your child will sit quietly for five or 10 minutes as you snuggle and read together, that’s super. If not, read to her anyway while she plays quietly with blocks (or colors or dresses baby dolls or “cooks”…). She is absorbing more than you think she is! Also, try reading at a time that she tends to be quieter naturally, such as a morning wake-up cuddle time in your bed or a bedtime snuggle in hers. Or maybe your afternoon quiet time could always begin or end with a short picture book read-aloud.

Character training is a biggie at this age—Marilyn Boyer’s Fun Projects for Hands-On Character Building has practical ideas for everyday moms like us. And her mommy book, Parenting from the Heart, has plenty of gentle encouragement from a mom of many.

If nobody told you that they had to go to school at age 5, what would you be doing with them? What are you doing with them now? Interact with them naturally—you don’t have to invent lots of artificial learning experiences—you have plenty of “real” ones already!

Let the children cook with you—they are measuring and pouring (math and science). Let them divide the cookies or the pizza (fractions and mathematical thinking). Be sure to read to and talk with them a lot; when they will occasionally let you get in a few pages of a picture book, ask them what they think will happen next. When they ask you a question, ask them, “What doyou think?” and let them explain to you (even if their answer makes absolutely no sense—you can then tell them your explanation, too).

When Grandma sends a present, write a thank-you note and let each child scribble at the bottom of it (then translate for Grandma!). Tell him he’s signing it for her. Write his name and let him try to copy it (but don’t push—make the tools available). If he doesn’t do well with a pencil, let him trace alphabet letters in sand or rice or popcorn kernels (unpopped). Then try the pencil again in a few weeks.

Later, you’ll write the note and he’ll really sign his name. Then a few months later, maybe he can write the thank you part and you can add…“for the red truck you gave me. Love, …” and he can sign his name. Then by maybe age 6 or 7, he will likely be able to write the Dear Grandma part, the thank you, and sign his name, and you just fill in the rest.

Your goal is to get him to learn to express himself, to communicate—not to make it difficult or a test. And if your niece and nephew are reading at age 5 and he isn’t, don’t panic or feel peer pressure! Of course, you want to keep an eye out for signs that he may need further help. Age two isn’t it, though, if your little one seems to be able to express himself to you in an age-appropriate way and behave like an average, active, preschool boy.

By the way, James Dobson once said that too many school teachers, the ideal little boy is … a little girl! However, boys are different than girls—God wired them that way. Expect the little boys to be pretty active and less interested in some language stuff, at least to begin with.

If you think you may have a right-brained child or one who seems to learn a bit differently than you are comfortable with, Dianne Craft has some simple activities to stimulate healthy brain function.

If you aren't confident that you know what is appropriate, Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready by June Oberlander contains developmental activities for children from birth to age 5. And if you plan to homeschool, I highly recommend you read the Beechick The 3 R’s of Learning and Barbara Curtis’ Mommy, Teach Me!, regardless of what teaching approach you utilize. What Your Child Needs to Know When, by Robin Sampson, includes a basic checklist for kindergarten through grade 8 so you know what might be customary for a school-age child to learn; this can help you avoid unrealistic expectations in the earlier, preschool years.

Your local support group (or MOPS group) may have some field trips and activities geared specifically to the attention span and interest level of 2-to-4-year-olds.

However, don’t let what you see around you put pressure on you. Ask the Lord to guide you in being a joyful mother of children. My goodness—you have little ones! You have enough on your plate to just make dinner and get the laundry caught up! While you cultivate their character and nurture their knowledge, it’s okay to let your children be—well, children.

The bottom line: This season will be shorter than you think, so enjoy being a mommy!