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Homeschooling with the 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages & Homeschooling


#1: Words of Affirmation

Unsolicited compliments mean the world to your child. Hearing the words, “I love you,” or “you did a great job” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends their spirits skyward. Insults can leave them shattered and are not easily forgotten.


#2: Quality Time

Your child will thrive with full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of child is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your child feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed talks or reading time, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.


#3: Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If your child is this language, gifts or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.


#4: Acts of Service

Can helping your child pick up their crayons really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.


#5: Physical Touch

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be destructive.



Ideas for homeschooling with your child’s love languages:

Words of Affirmation

  • take many opportunities throughout the day to encourage. “I love watching you work hard on your ….” or “I could see you being a great doctor” (or whatever career aspiration they’re into)

  • leave a surprise note for a child to find under their pillow or in unexpected places (like when they open their math book)

  • create a special loving phrase that is unique to you and this child

  • in (or after) a difficult moment, share what you love about him or her

  • speak out something positive about this child in front of others (spouse, neighbors, etc)


    Quality Time

  • make eye contact

  • put away screens and other distractions when with them

  • include them in your errands – this child will enjoy what other kids might find boring

  • sit together and look at family photo albums

  • don’t send them to work on all assignments independently, even as they get older

  • hang out without any agenda


    Receiving Gifts

  • pick up a rock, shell, or cool object from a nature walk–then place it in a surprising location for them to find with a note from you

  • don’t just buy “homeschool supplies” – take a minute to wrap them up and present the gift in a fun way

  • bring home a small treat once in a while when you’re out grocery shopping–something that shows you were thinking of your child

  • make their favorite meal and let them know you did it to bless them

  • involve your child in the purchases you need to make for them: “We need to buy you a pair of winter boots – let’s pick them out together!”


    Acts of Services

  • don’t send your child off to work alone on their most difficult subject. Tackle it together.

  • surprise your kid with a special breakfast on a regular weekday

  • when your child is sick, show your love to them by the extra attention you offer

  • try to respond quickly when this child asks for help

  • every once in a while take over a child’s normal responsibilities (folding the laundry, cleaning his room, etc.)


    Physical Touch

  • let them sit on your lap for lessons or stories

  • give them a back massage break for five minutes if they reach a challenge in their work

  • for older kids or teens, give high fives and pats on the shoulder

  • make sure to reconnect with physical touch after disciplining or difficult moments

  • sit close while watching television or a movie

  • roughhouse (tickles, wrestling, chasing) with littles who enjoy it